Mikhail Labkovsky, a psychologist, doesn’t hide the fact that he became a psychologist to deal with his own problems. And he managed to cope with them. As a result of his 30-year observation experience, he formulated 6 rules. The author claims that these rules really help to defeat neurosis.
Bright Side decided to learn more about these 6 rules by Mikhail Labkovsky. Let’s test all the principles to become happier and healthier.
Rule 6: Do only what you want.
This rule is the main one. Just do only those things that you really want to do. And it works with all situations, whether they are everyday (What shall I cook for breakfast?) or life-changing (Should we really get married? Do we need a child now? Can I move to another city? Should I change my job or not?). Just listen to your heart, and do what you want.
To bring up a self-sufficient child with a healthy psyche, this rule should be used starting from the baby’s birth. Such questions as “What do you want to do now?” “What do you want to eat?” “What do you want to wear today?” are the first steps.
Rule 5: Don’t do what you don’t want to do.
One of the main Labkovsky phrases is: “Concessions and compromises are a direct path to a cardiologist or an oncologist.” The idea of “I don’t want to do it, but I have to” leads to the same consequences.
That’s why you shouldn’t do things you don’t want to do. And if you still do so, don’t be surprised that you’re unhappy, restless, and unsuccessful.
Rule 4: Don’t keep silent if you don’t like something.
The typical behavior of a neurotic is to accumulate their outrage and then suffer and argue with an opponent in their heads. It’s less romantic, but it’s better for everyone to say, “No, I don’t like it. Don’t talk to me in this way.”
The author of the method also states that you should say it only once. If there is no reaction, you’d better avoid such relationships.
Rule 3: Don’t answer if you’re not asked.
Such statements as “You’re awful!” or “I’m so tired. I’m done!” and so on are not questions. And you shouldn’t answer them.
They provoke people to answer. For example, “What’s wrong? Why are you complaining?” You should understand that such phrases are the manipulative phrases of neurotics. Labkovsky claims that you shouldn’t answer or you’d better react in accordance with rule 3: “I don’t like such conversations.”
Rule 2: Answer only questions.
If you’re asked a question and you answer only this one question, you’re a confident person. Otherwise, it looks like an excuse. Each additional explanation or clarification may be treated as an excuse.
If a person wants details, they’ll ask additional questions.
Rule 1: Speak only about yourself while arguing.
The main principle of this method is to explain your feelings and your expectations of how you want people around you to treat you.
This rule doesn’t raise any conflict: you don’t actually argue with your partner. You only speak about yourself and your feelings.
The author states that to feel positive changes, you should follow these methods for at least 6 months.
Have you already tried these rules? Share with us in the comments.
Illustrated by Daniil Shubin for Bright Side